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Haters: Love Respect Educate Learn

First part in a multi-part series.
(Note: This series may have multiple titles)

The outline…..


Yes I know what you’re thinking by the title…

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  • Why should I love those who hate me for being me?

  • Why should I respect them?

  • Why should I educate them?

  • How can I learn from them?

  • And why are you writing this….


The backstory…..

Well let me start off with the age old question… Why do people hate?  People hate others for a number of reasons each according to their own experience.  Sometimes it’s how they were raised, the environment, the time and place, the list goes on and on…  I don’t know the answer to all of the reasons I can only tell you my story.

Yes you read that right I used to be a hater…and on some issues still am.  Like cold coffee.   Some of you have said to me that I am the most loving person ever put on this planet… I hate to break the news to you but that honor does not belong to me.  It belongs to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ; I just try to follow his example; even thou I fall short many times a day. 

Hating in my family started long ago in a land far away.  My dad served in Vietnam and needless to say was not fond of Vietnamese, he was raised in the south in the 1940’s and 1950’s and surrounded by persons of color. he came from a very conservative family where LGBT issues either did not exist or were not talked about.  I remember sadly but true of him using slurs to describe people who did not conform to his standard of normal.   The people that raised him were “bible-thumping” protestants… need I say more?  My mother was raised in ultra-conservative Nebraska and from a strict Catholic upbringing….   The town she came from had very few, if any, non-white and/or non-straight people.   So needless to say growing up around the both of them was very binary and anything other than a relationship between a natural man and a natural woman was wrong.  Now just because he “hated” people that is not to say he did not respect their views and listen or help them…Because he did…. Same with my mom.   

The “cycle of hate” started to soften as both of them grew and adapted to the friends that my sister hung out with.  But when my sister started dating a person of color; the whole ball of wax came back to the surface.   Things toward the LGBTQ+ community started to ease up when my cousin Jeff came out as gay, and when it came to transgender I thought that things would get better when my cousin’s kid came out as identifying as a male.  He was born biologically female.  It was about this time that I started to think that I could tell them… But I chickened out and went along with it.  Little did I know that just a few years later I would meet a great group of people that would show and educate me on how and why it’s harder to not hate…But also why it’s better for you and the world.

For me personally I have seen a lot of hate both coming towards me and coming from me over the years.  I tend to think and hope that I have grown some in the last few years… But when it comes down to it I know I have much more accepting to do.


Why should I love those who hate me for being me?

It’s easy to hate but it’s harder to love.  I can’t answer your specific question on this one but I can tell you that when I got involved with the “Love All Humans” group Shawn Z Williams, his wife Tracy Williams and various others including David Harrison Levi my whole viewpoint on things started to change and my heart started to soften.  I started looking at people more for who they were on the inside and what they had to offer the world.  And it touched me to the very core of my being.  Things started to fell right and look brighter.


Why should I respect them?

In short we should all respect each other even thou we may have different views.  If you show your respect towards them they just might respect you back.


Why should I educate them?

Same reason you should educate a ally, parent or anyone else.  


How can I learn from them?

This is a tough one… If at the very least you could learn how to advocate better in the future.


And why are you writing this….

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